I want to thank you.
Not for keeping us up all night; not for peeing on me at least once a day, not for giving my ear drums a work out with your loud, piercing cry…In fact, not for anything you’ve actually physically done. But for what your simple presence here on earth has done for my soul.
You see, your mother tends to be a bit cynical. While some people see the silver lining in every situation, I see whatever the opposite of that is; I see how much worse any given situation could be and am able to be grateful that it’s at least not that.
I am a pessimist with pretty low expectations of people and humanity. And though 32 isn’t old, I’m already fairly jaded. People’s bad actions don’t surprise me, and while I do believe beauty is found in every corner of our lives, I don’t and can’t pretend that that’s all there is. I don’t know whether nature or nurture made made me this way, probably a bit of both, but that’s me. In fact that will probably always be a part of me.
But lately, some of that has changed.
You see, when I, look at you, I can’t help but feel better about the world.
When I watch your sweet face as you sleep, I can’t help but believe in the goodness of humanity. When I watch you take in the world around you, curious and wide-eyed, I can’t help but feel hope for the future. When I see your tiny hands and feet, I can’t help but trust that we grown ups will use our own hands and feet to work for justice and peace. And when I sniff the top of your head, it seems all is right with the world, even if just for the duration of the whiff.
Maybe because when I’m with you, I have to believe that I’ve brought you into a world that’s better than what it shows itself to be most of the time.
And in that way, you have already made me a better person, more tender and hope-filled, more loving and gracious.
And for that, I thank you.
You’re 9lbs 4oz today! Way to grow!